Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 4/29/2012
Many of you know about my job and how it leaves me working on weekends (aka Sunday aka missing church). Believe me, it irks me more than you probably know. Any who, I like to get my Wednesday and Thursday services on as much as possible though and boy did they hand it to me this past week...
Note: These are my FAVORITE kind of services. You know, the ones where you're crying so hard you weeze/drip snot/make-up everywhere on your face and good clothes/clapping when no one else is/just a general hot mess/but God says it's beautiful so it's okay ;)
I focus so much on fundraising and how I should do this, this, and that to make it all better. To find ways to reach thousands and to become fully funded. How I needed gear, shots, and to meet these little deadlines. The launch for the race is coming upon us all so fast that I slipped out of His grace and having faith, I went into 'me' mode.
This week at church was Baptism night and it was the first one like it I had experienced (one person was baptized at my church when I was 9). One after another 48 people received the gift of redemption, the gift of adoption, and welcomed into the Kingdom. Baptisms have been on my heart quite a bit lately and it struck me so hard that night, I wanted to be down there with them. Even the guy who slipped into the tub and fell...I wanted to hang out with him down there. As a Christ follower I want more of Him and what He has planned for me..it didn't become about JUST the World Race anymore, but MY LIFE. How did I miss this connection? As if I wasn't preparing my life with God, but just preparing for the World Race.
The next night I went to a brand new church that I had been wanting to hit up SO BAD. I cut plans that night short..raced over there..not a soul was there except for the band (insert giant question mark). I stood there and shouted to them if this was the right night. It was. They explained how they are a newly planted church and Thursdays are still 'iffy' on attendance, so tonight was just me (and the band). We prayed aloud with one another and prayed all on the exact same topic - repent us of our selfish ways! How many times do you pray for yourself, your finances, your family, your _____ ? How many times do you pray for your community, strangers, co-workers, or anyone to just become saved? How did I miss this overwhelming issue?! I was so focused on me and everything that is moving with the World Race that I forgot my neighbor. Let us be strong in our faith and profess our love to anyone because there is nothing offensive about love. To a world where everyone claims they need more love..it is right in front of you and free. Let us be firm and not afraid to offend anyone, because the cross is MADE to be offensive. It is offensive to NOT share His story and if I lose friendships then I guess I lose friendships and if I make you mad then I guess I make you mad. My relationship with my Father means far too much to me to worry if I'm going to offend you.
This week moved me. From being 1 out of 1,000 at a church or being the 1 out of 5 at another church, they both moved me so hard. Fundraising has been hard and always on my mind (especially with MAJOR setbacks this month), but the World Race isn't my life and it certainly isn't something you have to do to be a child of Christ.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 3/6/2012
I made it clear around August 2011 that I wanted some family/friends to wait on donating due to the fact of me "maybe" not going. This thought has completely eluded my mind and in fact, I'm sick of it. I can't believe at one time I thought that I wouldn't go or might not finish fundraising in time. The 'what-if' of my family and friends not getting their money back that they donated for me to go on this amazing trip.
"I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God..(con't). For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline." -2 Timothy 6
So many times as of late I have people tell me that they'll think of donating to me once the time gets closer. Or better yet, when I'm on the field so they know for sure I'm going. I try to keep a cool and calm composure regarding this issue and just nod my head with a slight grin. Well, I'm not sure my facade can conceal this any longer. Am I offended? No. Slightly confused? Not really. What I want and need is my support team saying that they'll send this $1 right now because they know for dang sure that I'm going to Ireland the first week of July. Every paycheck I receive, bonus check, or tax return that I personally get I start immediately thinking what money will go into the race; the equipment, the shots, the insurance, money for when I return to the states, and so on.
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." -Luke 12:48
I accept this full on (actually I think I did 3 weeks ago). My heart already feels like it is being called to ministry work..yes, for the long haul. Who knows what I'll think in one year versus now, but I know that I can't keep going day to day as a droid. Feeling as if I'm taking robot steps with no passion, it simply will not be effective enough in my eyes. I have been given SO MUCH in my life (as much as we all complain about the 99% vs 1%) even the 1% has more than the majority of the world. Much SHOULD be demanded of us and we should be held accountable for it. There are so many different ways people accept a calling; the ones who go out and get muddy and the ones who are there to clean the muddy ones off and tell them to get back in there.
"Writing in The New Yorker, January 1954, Dr. R. B. Robertson reported the fascinating experience of accompanying a group of men on a whaling ship. Later he tried to analyze why these highly successful men would leave their businesses, comfortable homes, and loved ones for such a hazardous, yet joyous experience. He concluded they were psychopaths - not in a sick, inferior sense, but in a superior sense! He said they were men whose minds and spirits were so healthy that they could not accept the civilizations into which they had been born."
Please, come be my team that throws me towels when I get out of the mud. Join me on the boat, become a psychopath with me.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 1/25/2012
The moment I was accepted to the WR I had a certain type of "wall" up. I was placed into a facebook page with experienced missionaries who had a very extreme relationship with God. I envied their knowledge and how strong their faith was which wasn't healthy from the get go for me to do. All I did was have this insecure feeling about how bad my relationship with God was compared to theirs. Did you hear that? I thought my relationship with God was BAD COMPARED TO OTHERS. I freaked out, overanalyzed, and thought I was going to be a serious black sheep.
-MONTHS PASS AND I CHANGE ROUTES (along with facebook groups)-
I become a part of this new July route and slowly built some relationships with people. I kept myself from becoming too attached from anyone, because let's be honest..I'm good with walls. Along with that-there's no way I'm going to tell strangers my deepest darkest secrets for fear of serious rejection. One day I own up a bit to my feelings to a fellow racer, something I didn't even do with my best friend. The feeling of shame, rejection, and why am I here? How do complete strangers tell me that I'm their inspiration? How can I be an inspiration to someone else when I hardly find it in myself.
"Don't discount how God is using you. Come as you are, not as you ought to be." - Katie
Did you hear what this girl just said, because she rocked my socks off. What am I doing in being ashamed of my past, my past is what brought me here with God. That's why I'm chosen. Remember those who Jesus chose? Oh ya. Why am I QUESTIONING what God is doing with me and my life?
Last night was top 10 one of the greatest nights of my life and it was so simple. I skyped with 7 (give or take) other World Racers and the conversation kept light the first 4-5 hours. It was as if we just couldn't get enough of one another and you know what it was? Was 110% the Holy Spirit with us last night. The last 2-3 hours were filled with prayer, tears, and laughter..and I could feel my walls coming down. All day today my life just felt as if it was glowing(?)...yes, glowing. I was so happy at everything..I even smiled at the road rage psycho who almost crashed into me. I even had an amazing response from God the moment I woke up. If this is how the World Race is going to be, then holy freaking cow this is going to be the best year of my life. "He only asks that we extend our hands as they are and not as we think they are." Beautiful hands.
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For When I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
I love this family.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 12/1/2011
This week was a big one on the calendar, le best friend came home from le Italiano. It's been around a century since I had seen her last..or maybe just 6 months? Tomato tamato I say. Any who, we made plans for when I finished work to meet up immediately seeing as how I wanted to see her two feet on American soil. Plans are dabbled around and we come up with the plan for me to fly down to Lexington, for her to just pick me up there, and then we'll go see old friends. I arrive in Lexington and find myself waiting at the baggage claim only for a few minutes to see her and Daniel come around the corner in the car. I grab my things, give hugs, hop in the car, and the first thing they start mentioning is going to church. At first I was thinking, "meh..this really wasn't on my agenda for today but I'm definitely down to go (I never get Sundays off work)."
We arrive to this wee little church that none of us had been to and had around MAYBE 30 people attending. The preacher goes on to talk in the beginning about Luke (interesting due to I had been scoping out Luke this very month) and focused on the birth of Jesus. How accepting Christ into your life and taking ownership to what He wants you to do. He mentioned how in the beginning of accepting a challenge, you shouldn't be particularly "excited" about it, but to REALLY give it deep thought. God isn't going to just throw us little things in our life that are cake walks, like choosing Mary to be the one to give birth to Jesus. I can't imagine thinking, "Oh wow God..that'll be totally easy. I got this one."
Things are going to be hard. There are going to be sacrifices. We are going to lose things. Choices aren't easy.
Then it made me think how in the beginning of all of this World Raceness, I was so pumped that I actually cried. And then month two hit and I freaked out, but then talked to God and realized: I got this. I'm accepting Christ into my life and this is what I'm doing. I want this and I want a life with Him..and it's rad.
So tonight I headed down to the last Wednesday service of the month and was greeted with the service discussing Luke (Ironic? I think not). We talked about the moment that we decided we "invited" God into our lives and it's not about who God invites, because it's everyone. But who accepts? Do you accept the challenges, the hard times, and the unknown? Because you have faith: you have no fear in letting go and are obedient to God's will.
You just R.S.V.P'd to the party.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 10/12/2011
I wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind and while I was focused. The past week has been extremely interesting to say the least. As much as I was indifferent about my feelings toward what has happened, I now realized what I've learned and I'm happy. I made this plan to leave in January and like I said before, I had a "PLAN" to have $15,500 raised before I even left for the trip. I wanted to be able to focus ALL of my attention, love, and support to every person I encountered on the field without having to be concerned about finances back home. Even though I began to forget that plan and focus just more on leaving in January with no hesitation, God sure didn't forget. This past week when I talked to Jacob and then had a great conversation with God - I asked for a movement by Monday. I asked that I at least get my ideas in order, my donors in mind, my speech prepared, my movement. Monday came with very little progress and then I progressed with phone calls and going door to door asking for donations on Tuesday. The phone calls with potential big donors went not very good at all; I found out my Aunt had been laid off by NASA, my Great Aunt's cancer came back (never left) and she just paid a three thousand dollar doctor bill, and even more stories like these two. The door to door conversations left the bitter taste of slammed doors, "no's", or the last lady who told me in a very sarcastic manner that she only gives to missions in "HER" church. I began to cry. I thought I had it all figured out today even after I pushed past the Monday plan that I had laid out with God. I then got home and took a drive with my dog (who normally is great for conversations at times like this). I prayed to God with just no expectations of anything anymore and had the most calming conversation with him and realized this was all okay. To those reading who have donated to my cause, I want to first say how much of a blessing you are in my life and how much I love you. I also want you to know that your money will still be going towards my trip which will now be in July.
Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps"
Sometimes plans get altered and there's a time to realize that IT'S OKAY! We think, "oh man I made these plans, I have to stick to these EXACT plans..if not, I've failed."
I'm not failing and today it took me to realize that.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 10/8/2011
When this all first started and the thought of fundraising was even brought up, I was so game for it. I said to myself and even others, "Watch..I'll raise $15,500 before I even leave in January." Here's a little update: I leave in two months and I need $13,500. Ummmm?!?! What the heck happened to this all ginormous and epic plan I had?
I fiddle faddled around for WAY too long because I was terrified out of my wits to finally commiting and look where that put me. I could seriously hit myself in the head for putting myself into this situation and then I found out that big businesses won't donate due to the religion aspect of it. Let me tell you how that put a huge ol' damper in my crate of good ideas. Support letters, asking friends for money, asking family for money, all of that..I hate it. I've never hated anything more in my life along with the most awkward moments ever that are included in it. I loathe sounding cliche and needy..along with feeling like I'm begging. With everything that started happening on my list of things to get done; vaccinations, travelers insurance, camping equipment, and doctor meetings to figure out how I'm going to achieve getting blood work done in the middle of Africa, I basically deviated from where this all began. I deviated from having that moment back before I was even accepted..from that moment on May 31st. I need to dig by heels back into this and remember what the heck I'm doing.
I had some amazing conversations with my sister and with Jacob and it gave me a new direction of all this. I realize that fundraising sucks and that NO ONE enjoys it. But this is it and this is where testing yourself begins. The mission trip doesn't start when you leave in January-it starts WAY before that and fundraising (in my opinion) is a HUGE part of it. This actually is testing your faith, will you find yourself in a way more deeper and rad relationship with God due to actually putting your faith IN HIM or will you give up? I like to think that this next week will prove some miracles for me..I need to get over this first fence.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 8/26/2011
My occupation as of now (and hopefully after the World Race as well) is a flight attendant for Delta. It's a long story about how I came to this job, but flying has and will be my passion. I love my job-as many bad days come-the good days stay. Once the honeymoon stage of this job wore off in the first few months I found myself pushing back from meeting new people. I would pretend to be asleep when riding on flights, I would make conversations short and sweet versus the times when I would long to find out about the person sitting next to me or a person I was waiting on.
I remember when the World Race stuff came about and I wanted to tell EVERYONE, but will you offend someone? What if they don't believe in God? What if they think you're a kook? I was working a flight from Birmingham, Alabama to Detroit, Michigan when I see this older woman by herself reading the bible. Like usual I was just going to ask what she wanted to drink and if she'd like this stale cookie to go with it. What if this woman has some wisdom in her eye that she cares to share, what's it going to hurt to talk? "You ever read that from front to back?" I ask her and with a perked up face laughing she said "yeah, but only once." We began to talk about churches and just casual learning from there-it wasn't anything serious but it was refreshing. I gave her my blog url because it became something I wanted to share with her, kind of like 'our' moment.
One night a woman came walking off of the plane with a pamphlet and handed one to the whole crew with a quick bless you at the end. I thought to myself for a moment that if she could share this about herself then why couldn't I? I rushed off the plane to find her by the baggage claim and gave her this blog url..we had 'our' moment.
A tire blew on our plane a few weeks ago leaving us stranded and delayed in Washington D.C. for 6 hours. We finally got a new tire and everything situated so we could leave. I walk over to the gate to read the paperwork and check in with the gate agents and I see this older couple talking to my pilots...I just assume it's someone they know or maybe even someone who used to work with us. I walk up and the woman turns to me and we just start talking like we've known one another for ages-one subject leads to another and she begins to tell me about how her sister was on flight TWA 800. She tells me of the moment she was at the restaurant bathroom and threw water on her face because she felt anxiety-she felt the moment her sister hit the water. This older couple wasn't even on our flight, they didn't know my pilots, they just came up to talk to us and the moment that I had with this woman was intense AND I do know why she cried there and hugged me. We had 'our' moment and I gave her my blog url..
Needless to say..you NEVER know what you'll learn from just one person. From THEIR life. We all have so much to share-so much tragedy-so many blessings-why not talk about them? It's what makes a person beautiful. I hope my new cronies came to my World Race blog and I pray that they read this one that was especially for them.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 7/9/2011
Freely ye have received, feely give - Matthew 10:8
I don't think I can express how much a verse means to me, especially with this year coming up. A few weeks ago a friend came to me that was down on their luck and asking for money. A little history of our friendship; we were good friends for around 5 years even through rough times. He had some really bad things happen (that he did bring upon himself), but everything remained constant between us. He lost just about everyone in his life that was of significant importance due to his actions and last month he came to me asking for a favor.
I remember when people used to ask me for favors, I would always come quick with excuses or reasons why I couldn't. He asked me for $400 which I literally only had $500 or so in my account. Without hesitation and not thinking of his previous deceitful ways to other friends, I said yes. I believed he would pay me back and I didn't doubt him which was interesting. I had a little meeting in my head to myself (which I do 99% of the time) and said, "Ashley, what if you needed money? Would anyone help you out?" Man, did I hope so..I hoped that I had those kind of friends. I let go-not worrying about consequences-or the fact that I needed $15,500 myself! Days came and went and I never got money. He ignored me, blocked me, deleted me, you name it and he did it. I started to freak out basically and then realized there was nothing I could do anymore. I prayed for him...and well, I prayed for me. I came to the conclusion it wasn't happening.
"Hot jambalaya and sweet caroline" (as some say) I got my money from his employer. Literally saved my little life and cheered me up because I'm sending that money straight to my funding. I guess the whole point was even though everyone said, "ASHLEY WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST HIM!" I did, I took a risk, I let go and I had faith. Even though I was a persistent lil' bugger and probably annoyed everyone about the issue, things were resolved. I prayed about it..got a little impatient, but God sought me out and helped me. It's just remembering to have faith. You can't do it all on your own.
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Posted in Pre World Race by Ashley Francis on 6/9/2011
I've grown up with things easy. That's what my mom told me tonight in a crying heartfelt conversation. One of those sentences you don't want to hear someone say, but it's true. Here's the World Race..is this my challenge? Did God put this on my plate? I feel very bombarded with my own questions lately and it's all due to just SIGNING UP.
This is nuts and basically my brain is awol. I always grew up in a small Baptist church then went to this big Christian church with my friend in junior high then just kind of faded out of church. I lost my mojo I guess you would say. I always hung onto that first bible that Kay Thompson bought me from the small country church my Dad took me to. I may have faded out of church, but that bible was always there somewhere for me to poke and prod at. I always prayed at night. I always yearned for that closer relationship with God, but I pushed at something. Guilty conscious? I knew things I may be doing might not be right, but I felt my heart was in the right place. Well, word of mouth and the World Race keeps popping up. I keep hearing, reading, watching blogs..fellow friends go..then sign up. Am I just listening to stories or am I trying to be told to make my own? I normally don't pray for things (except for safety of family and friends) and this time I began to pray..and pray hard. Oh boy did I get my answers and it felt like all signs point to this and so slowly I began to apply, interview, and pray some more. I don't know if I'm the perfect Christian or if I'm blowing away my dream career by doing this, but something keeps telling me to do it. When God gives you the choice to do something that YOU asked for, do you pass it up? I prayed for this. I asked for this. God could of easily denied me after that interview or anything.
God will provide. Stamp it to my forehead and let's let go.
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